page always being updated #todo ### Nobody likes to experience fear. Fear is almost universally seen as a negative emotion. I do not mean with adrenalin junkies or in literature and research, I am talking about the normal person on the street so to speak. We are brought up with the belief that > Fear is something to be avoided. Another post needs to be connecting this to [[Experiential Avoidance]]. However when we look at how we learn and progress we must embrace elements related to fear to achive mastery within any given discipline. This may be the fear of embarrasment or the fear of death however it is the experience of the emotion is what changes us. Fear is where growth happens - within the experience of fear, our lives change. This change can reduce ability and growth. For example if we put someone so far out of their [[Comfort Zone]] that the fear has an adverse effect then this can be detrimental. Moving the person away from their ability to take risks. In effect reducing their own [[Circle of Influence]]. Indeed some experiences of fear in uncontrolled ways can lead to a concern over our mental health over the longer term. However it is in those moments of fear where great changes can occur in the right direction. > [!note] Dawn Staley >*Growth happens outside your comfort zone* #### Scaffolding For these changes to be in the right direction we must be scaffolding the experience incrementally or the person must trust that you as coach or instructor can step in when things get too risky, in essence they must believe this experience is not outside your [[Comfort Zone]] or in a fear setting for you. ### A table and a roll About a hundred years ago I was teaching a martial art and was asking them to dive roll over a table, think Jackie Chan movie. This is not actually just about the simplistic ability to safely dive over something like a chair or table. It is primarily about normalising fear. When students see more experienced students doing thiis with ease they think that is a long way away. We do not ask them to do this until they are ready. We do this through the skill of the instructor. If the instructor is skilled enough to be able to assess your ability and the instructor has built the relationship in such a way the student trusts the instructor to keep the student safe then magic can occur. If I ask someone to do something they are not ready for they will either refuse as fear grips them, which is a lack of trust in the instructors judgement or have a go at the task and get injured. Either way this is not good. Back to that lesson. I was covering an instructor who could not teach their regular class one evening. One of the students had been a student of mine some years before from novice. When it came to diving over the table she had not done this with me years before as she was not ready then. However on this night I judged she would be safe and sent her over with the implication as with all who were ready I expected it with no discussion. She did the requested action - several times. I did not consider this to be of interest as I am a skilled instructor. However several of the class came up to me and said she would have refused to do that with her regular instructor, so I approached her and asked. She said it was the first time she had ever done it and when she saw how confident I was that she could do it she did not second guess me. This was obviously partly a hangover of a relationship built through me teaching her in the past. I have many other stories such as this however the point is if you can keep people safe as you ask them to experience fear they can achieve things they thought impossible. ### corporate training In a training world where we only get a day or 3 to build confidence we must instill trust around the dangerous stuff early in the process. Within a short period of time I can safely move people to an area they had no idea they could get to. ### a curve ball on some idle Tuesday The point we are slowly getting to here is that fear is an outcome of the anticipation of an experience and the more time we go through that experience the more manageable fear becomes. This is due to your [[Comfort Zone]] increasing in size to make that experience normal. Enough exposure to that event and it takes a bigger experience to induce the same level of the emotion - fear. Ant Middleton explains a model for this in [[The Fear Bubble]]. [[Psychological Flexibility]] resilience is about bouncebackability - not the event D8 post? #todo